Today, let’s delve into a kink that’s a bit more niche than many: a diaper wearing fetish. While not as common as other types of kinks (like spanking or gagging), a diaper wearing fetish can provide a lot of utility in the bedroom – even if it’s never something you’ve thought about before. So, let’s explore this neat little world.
What Is a Diaper Lover?
Like the name implies, a diaper lover is someone who loves adult diapers. This interest can be soothing-only (with no sexual arousal attached), but for many, their interest in adult diapers can veer into the world of sexuality and arousal. (We’ll talk why people like diapers here in a second!)
A diaper lover may wear disposable diapers – or may wear reusable diapers. This choice may be one that’s motivated by their particular reason for the kink. For example, those who enjoy waddling or the embarrassment of a very-full diaper may choose disposable diapers because disposable options have much higher capacity limits. Diaper wearing fetishists who love the nostalgic feeling may opt for reusable options to bring back those soothing sensations.
A diaper lover may also need to make a choice between disposable diapers (or reusable diapers) based on their own physical body size. At this time, getting disposable diapers that fit a hip wider than 58″ can be difficult – while reusable options have a wider range of size options.
A “diaper lover” is distinctly different from someone into Adult Baby kinks. For the most part, Adult Baby/Little/ABDL are used to describe a mentality and behavior (someone who enjoys getting in touch with someone’s inner child) and enjoying the sensation of being taken care of.
A diaper lover – and the diaper wearing fetish – on the other hand, are focused solely on the diaper, the sensation it brings, and how it looks. This can come to a surprise for a lot of people looking to learn “What is a Diaper Lover?”
However, some people who have a diaper wearing fetish do enjoy ageplay or Adult Baby kinks in addition to their diaper wearing fetish. It’s just important to note that having a diaper wearing fetish is completely separate from being into ageplay.
In fact, some diaper lovers will just wear diapers during everyday, boring tasks like doing the dishes – or just for comfort while watching their favorite movie. Some diaper lovers may choose to only wear diapers while masturbating or enjoying partnered sex. For a diaper lover, the focus is on the diaper itself – not on different identities.
In fact, “diaper wearing parties” are something that exist. Imagine your standard, alcohol-fueled party with loud music, socialization, and video games. Now imagine that everyone at the party is pants-less and wearing diapers. The host even provides a separate room with changing table and trash can for the attendees to use for diaper changes. While this isn’t common (mostly because the kink is on the rarer side!), this is a type of thing that happens – and showcases how focused the kink is on the physical act of wearing a diaper.
If you’re not familiar with the diaper lover kink, it’s easiest to think of a diaper as a type of lingerie that a diaper wearing kinkster enjoys. It’s all about the look, feel, and sensation of wearing the diaper – just like with an elaborate piece of lingerie.
(Fun fact: “Omutsu” is the Japanese kink term for wearing a diaper.)
Why Do Some People have a Diaper Wearing Fetish?
If this is your first time being introduced to the diaper wearing fetish, you might be confused by all of this. Diapers? For sexual purposes? But…why?
If that’s the case, let me introduce you to a few of the mental and physical sensations that a diaper wearing fetish can provide:
Warmth: Whether the diaper is used to pee or simply filled with warm water (that’s an option, y’know!), most of us love the feel of warmth. Whether it’s a nice blanket or clothes straight out of the dryer, an adult diaper can provide that type of sensation on a constant basis – like a blanket for your sensitive spots.
Conforms to the Body: Next, think of a soaked diaper like a semi-firm pillow – nicely conformed around some of the most sensitive parts of the body. For penis-owners, this might mean that the diaper’s material expanded perfectly in a semi-circle around the length of the penis. For a vagina-owner, this might mean that the diaper’s material perfectly expanded into and around the labia. Just like people love grinding against a pillow or semi-firm surface for pleasure, an adult diaper can provide that same sensation – only it’s something you wear, AND it ends up perfectly customized to your exact anatomy. This can mean regular, pleasant sexual stimulation – even while walking around. There are some people who can orgasm in a wet diaper simply from walking – even if that wasn’t really their intended goal (like if they just went to pick up a gallon of milk!)
Snug and Secure like a Corset: A lot of people enjoy tighter, snugger clothing like corsets or kinks like rope bondage because they feel like a constant hug against the skin. Those with a diaper wearing fetish can feel the same sensations while wearing a diaper.
Impacts Movement: If you’ve ever worn something very large and fluffy around your waist, you’d know that it changes how you move. For some people, this is part of the appeal of an adult diaper. As the adult diaper continues to expand, it will continue to further impact movement – which can feel “submissive” in the same way that commanding someone to crawl can feel. This desired “waddle” can also be a good catalyst for…
Embarrassment: As I’ll mention many times in this article, there’s nothing that should be embarrassing about wearing an adult diaper – especially if it’s needed for incontinence. However, that’s not, necessarily, the world we live in, and for a lot of people, the potential for humiliation and embarrassment can be part of the appeal of wearing an adult diaper. Similar to a sissification kink, the potential for embarrassment can also go up as the activity is done in an “over the top” manner – like forcing someone to wear their adult diaper until it’s bulging – which is well beyond what someone using their adult diaper for incontinence would ever intentionally do.
Minimizes Life Interruptions: While it may not be as sex-focused as the other points on this list, some adult diaper kink lovers just enjoy wearing their adult diapers because it can minimize life interruptions. You don’t need to pause a game to get up to go pee. Hard restaurant chairs feel less terrible because you have (literal) built-in padding on your butt. You never have to worry about the Turbulence sign being on while flying. While this may not be a primary reason for enjoying or getting into a diaper wearing fetish, it’s something that can continue to reinforce the kink – and make it a pleasant experience.
Is Being a Diaper Lover Normal?
There’s nothing wrong with being a diaper lover – and quite a few hundreds of thousands of people are. While defining “normal” for sexuality and kinks is pretty much impossible (the breadth of human sexuality is gigantic!), wearing an adult diaper is certainly harmless to anyone else – and hard to see anything particularly problematic about it. (Though disposable options due bring up environmental concerns.)
As always, if your fetish is causing you significant mental distress or negatively impacting your everyday life, it’s best to talk to a kink-friendly professional about it – but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with achieving arousal from wearing an adult diaper.
As we’ve already covered, there are a whole lot of physical and mental reasons that the act of wearing an adult diaper can provide. So just like the rest of the realm of BDSM and kink, your sexuality is unique to you – and as long as that isn’t causing you constant stress or problems, there’s nothing wrong with it.
What is a Disposable Adult Diaper Made of?
Disposable adult diapers, especially for fetish purposes, are unlike any diapers that you’ve probably seen through your lifetime. Not only do they have to contend with the much larger bladder of an adult human, but they also have to deal with a much larger body too. Plus, compared to adult diapers made purely for incontinence, a lot of the wearers actually want to wear the full diapers for longer periods of time, so keeping a super-slim, needs-changes-often profile isn’t a priority for many of these manufacturers at all.
In fact, most diaper fetish wearers want the bulky look that modifies their stance and their walk.
Disposable adult diapers can vary (drastically) in capacity. Lately, it has been a “race to the top” between adult diaper fetish manufacturers to see how high of a capacity a diaper can hold. On the lighter ends, you can go for adult diapers that hold 2000ml per diaper. On the heavier ends, one of the most recently released diapers is boasting a 10,000ml capacity with a single diaper. Essentially, it turns into an all-day diaper for many.
Disposable adult diapers are essentially made up of three parts:
- the chassis (which is the actual outer form of the diaper, usually made of plastic or cloth)
- the SAP (super absorbent polymer that makes up all of the absorbent, interiors part of the diaper – usually opaque)
- and the tapes (which hold the diaper onto the body with adhesive tapes or a pseudo-velcro).
The Chassis is the “shell” of the diaper. This is what you physically see when you see the diaper. Different manufacturers make different chassis “cuts” and sizes, so just like clothes, it is common for different diaper fetishists to prefer different brands of diapers.
The SAP is the absorbant stuff that actually does the liquid absorption. It does this through its unique design that expands as it soaks up liquids. So, an unused diaper is relatively thin, but as the SAP absorbs all of the liquid, it poofs up! SAP is usually located along the front, between the legs, and all around the butt. This is because most urine/liquids/solids don’t usually end up along the hips, so it’d be an unnecessary and rarely-used addition that would cost more. If you are able to look at the picture above, you can see exactly where the SAP areas end and begin.
The Tapes are what keep the diaper on the body and allow a single diaper design to fit a variety of body sizes. In order to keep a diaper on the body, the waist needs to be snug – or else the heft of the diaper would just pull it off the body. (Unlike underwear, fully-used adult fetish diapers can be over 10 pounds each when fully saturated!) These tapes are generally made of adhesive that can be restuck a few times if adjustments are needed. Like regular adhesive, though, it can weaken each time it’s retaped for a limited ability to remove/adjust the diaper. Some manufacturers are experimenting with a Velcro-like system to help eliminate this issue.
For people who want to stretch their diaper to the fullest potential, there are things called “stuffers” or “boosters” too. Think of these as just the SAP part of the diaper in a contained pad. These boosters can be laid inside of a diaper (many with adhesive to hold them in place inside of the diaper) to instantly increase the capacity of a diaper. Since boosters don’t have all of the external plastic chassis, they’re cheaper than buying a full-sized diaper. This allows people to extend the lifespan of their adult diaper – especially if using adult diapers is cost-prohibitive in the first place.
Reusable adult diapers are also out there – but not nearly as common as the disposables in the adult diaper fetish community. I don’t want to touch on them now (as this is long enough already), but I want to let you know that they are out there if you want a more environmentally-friendly option.
What does Wearing a Diaper Feel Like?
Honestly, once you get past the initial “woah, that’s weird!” aspect of it, the sensations are pretty sensual.
Each time the diaper is used, warmth spreads all around your genitals. The closest example I can really think of is the first few seconds after stepping into a warm shower. You know how it feels so relaxing and amazingly sensual as your skin gets used to it? It’s like that, in your most sensitive areas, each time you “use” the diaper.
- If you’re wearing a thicker diaper, the absorbent material inside can start to conform to your body.
- If you enjoy anal sensations, this can mean the material starts to gently fill up between the cheeks with a nice, light rubbing sensation that can touch the butt during movement.
- If you’re a clitoral owner, this can mean that it conforms inside of the vulva for a perfectly-made-for-you “toy” that can be ground against to reach orgasm with an efficiency that I’ve found impossible to find in sex toys.
- If you have a penis and can get it to stay in a similar position through your wear time, the SAP (super absorbent polymer) will mold around the penis to provide constant contact against the sides of the penis while wearing it.
If the diaper is particularly large, you can have some adjustment to your movement. This might mean that you can’t stand the same way you’re used to – or that you’re unable to walk with the normal cadence, speed, or ease that you’re usually used to.
(For those who have worn menstrual pads before, wearing a diaper feels nothing like a pad. However, diapers can be A+ during periods because any leaks or blood overflow is extremely difficult)
Do I have to…y’know…”use” it?
Nope! Some people with adult diaper fetish kinks never use their diapers for bodily waste. I wouldn’t say that they’re a majority by any means, but they definitely exist out there.
A large portion of the diaper fetish community is “wetting only” – with any solids going to the toilet. This can keep the mess down drastically, and the warmth of pee as a pleasant sensation is hard to deny. It’s like a nice, hot shower – only you get to do it over and over throughout the day.
If you want to experience some of the same benefits, get nice, slightly warm-to-your-skin water, and pour it into the front (or back) of your diaper at regular intervals. You can dump it all in at once, if you’d like, but you won’t get a lot of the “wetness gradually conforms to your skin” sensations if you do a full fill at once.
(Be aware, however, that your adult diapers will likely have a much-more-limited lifespan if you don’t use them for your bathroom needs. Because you’ll need to retape and untape your diaper each time you need to use the toilet, the fastening tape will work out faster on a disposable diaper. Reinforce your tapes with packaging tape or use reusable, cloth diapers to help combat this.)
Are there non-arousal uses for adult diapers in kink?
Someone doesn’t have to have a diaper fetish kink in order to use adult diapers within a kink scene. Adult diapers can be a tool for eliciting sensations – much in the same vein as saran wrap or bondage tape.
- Humiliation: While there’s nothing humiliating about wearing adult diapers in general (whether for incontinence or as a diaper wearing fetish), there’s still a lot of potency for humiliation hidden into it. Unfortunately, as a society, we don’t discuss adult diapers much – and when we do, it tends to be as a punchline to a joke or as a discussion for caretaking the elderly. While there’s a lot to unpack about humiliation (and why adult diapers aren’t humiliating), you can use this taboo potential to your advantage if you and your partner both enjoy humiliation. Even without “using” the diaper, simply wearing adult diapers, like a piece of bondage gear or lingerie, can produce a lot of new feelings.
- Movement Modification: On the same page as diaper humiliation, adult diapers work really well for movement modification. Especially if you force your bottom to wear two, high-capacity, full diapers, it can be difficult to walk, and it definitely can produce a waddle. Keep piling on the padding, and you can end up at a point where someone is entirely unable to walk – and has to resort to crawling or stay stationary. It can be a great way to use the “taboo” and “humiliating” aspects of adult diapers while simultaneously turning it into diaper bondage.
- Longer Lasting Scenes: There are a lot of kink scenes where the build-up or set-up can be decently long. I’m talking about intense suspension scenes, intentional heavy, hours-long bondage, mummification, or vacuum beds. Any of those scenes can have decent prep – or place the recipient in hard-to-escape situations. Using an adult diaper, even without a diaper wearing fetish, reduces to need to cut scenes short, go without water for long periods of time, or prep your entire room to accept someone peeing during the scene.
- Anxiety Relief for Bathroom Visits: I don’t know about you, but as someone who sits on toilets to pee and likes staying hydrated, the idea of long drives through the middle of nowhere (where all I can find are gas stations that look straight out of horror movies) gives me with so much anxiety. Same with airplane bathrooms – especially if turbulence is expected. If you’re comfortable using adult diapers, you can alleviate both of those concerns by simply using another tool at your disposal. Wearing adult diapers doesn’t just have to be about incontinence; it can also be a tool you use for making your life easier. (One of my partners had a rough surgery that make it extremely painful to walk or move. Adult diapers were a simple way for him to take care of his needs while simultaneously not requiring a lot of movement or help from someone else each time he needed to “go”).
How to buy adult diapers?
As the diaper wearing fetish gets more and more popular, there are so, so, so many different ways to figure out how to buy adult diapers. But you may not know about most of them.
Especially if you’re new to your diaper wearing fetish, how to buy adult diapers might be a bit confusing. I recommend starting with sample packs (usually $8-15 for two disposable diapers) of different manufacturers. Every manufacturer has their own taping system – and their own cut and style. Each manufacturer also has their own sizing, too, so you might find that your body fits best in one manufacturer – while it absolutely hates another. That’s totally normal.
I personally suggest (and have shopped from all three):
Wearing Clouds: A small online business that only sells single diapers. This lets you view a gigantic variety of styles and pick and choose each individual size for your body. This also introduces you to a ton of different manufacturers. They have occasional sales, but their prices are pretty reasonable for adult diapers. Their items don’t ship free, so ensure you pay attention to the shipping fee.
My Inner Baby: A small brick-and-mortar store located in the US that happens to have an online shop. Their samples section offers a good selection of options, and My Inner Baby sells full bags too. This way, once you find the style you love, you can come back and have a familiar shopping experience to get a full bag.
XP Medical: Some of the cheapest pricing because they’re a “medical” company, XP Medical offers a ton of standard, medical-looking diapers. If you’re not a fan of the babyish prints, this can be great for you. They also have some accessories the others may not like disposal bags; I find they usually ship quick and usually package a free few, extra diaper samples into my order too. They do NOT have many sample packs, however. (If you still want a playful print, XP Medical carries Crinklz too. I actually really like those ones.)
As a last resort, some people are only able to purchase their diapers in-person at drugstores or big box stores. You’re not likely to get the full diaper wearing fetish experience from these diapers – as the capacity is very very low. Even for people who are actually incontinent, they usually need to purchase from online medical supply companies. The drugstore options are generally for occasional and light leakage.
Instead, if you can manage it, many adult diaper sellers can ship directly to your local drugstore to hold your package for manual pick-up – or many can be held within a UPS or FedEx office for manual pick-up too. This lets you avoid the delivery questions while simultaneously taking advantage of the much, much better online options.
What else do I need to put someone in diapers?
Technically, all you really need is the diaper. If you’re super short on cash and time, you can get away with simply wearing the diaper – especially if you’re early on in exploring your diaper wearing fetish and probably won’t be wearing it for long.
Beyond that, though, especially for regular use, you’ll probably want:
Baby Powder: This is pretty much the big one – especially if the wearer is equipped with a vulva. The moisture build-up during diaper wearing can be big – and it can cause rashes. Sprinkling baby powder on the skin helps prevent these rashes, tons of sweat build-up, and helps keep the skin feeling okay.
Any cautions I should know before trying it?
Now that you’ve learned about “what is a diaper lover”, you might be interested in wearing adult diapers for yourself. If that’s the case, there are a few things you should know, safety-wise:
For the most part, diapers are extremely low-risk. Compared to high-risk kink activities like money kink and cuckolding, diapers are as risky as various types of clothing like wearing thongs. However, there are a few things you’ll want to keep an eye out for as you explore the world of a diaper wearing fetish:
- Yeast Infections: Especially if you’re a vulva-owning person, wearing a diaper can provide a whole lot of moisture. You know how all of the vagina-care guides say not to stay in wet clothing or unbreathable clothing – diapers are both. This means there’s a yeast infection risk for those who have vaginas and wear adult diapers. To reduce this risk if you’re sensitive, wear lower capacity diapers, change more frequently, see if cloth-backed diapers make a difference (more breathability), and keep sitting in a fully-saturated diaper as a rare activity.
- Skin Rashes: Not just a concern for those who have vulvas, the high-moisture design of wearing an adult diaper can cause skin rashes. The skin just doesn’t like hanging out in moisture all of the time. This is a common occurrence with the diaper lover kink though. To help prevent it if you’re sensitive, ensure you use a lot of pre-wear baby powder and choose lower capacity diapers that get changed more frequently. Most people who play with the diaper wearing fetish tend to keep some diaper rash cream on stand-by for when this happens. If you end up with a rash, discontinue adult diaper wearing for awhile while your rash heals up.
- Don’t Shave Beforehand: Especially if this is your first time doing this with a partner, you might be tempted to shave your diaper-wearing area ahead of time. Don’t do it within 48 hours of wearing your diaper. The microcuts you create during shaving are the perfect hiding spots for bacteria that happens during sweating/moisture of wearing a diaper – even if you never use it for bodily waste. You’re not likely to hurt yourself if you do it anyway, but you’re looking at some ingrown hairs and nasty bumps.
- Urinary Tract Infection: While less rare than the two above concerns, UTIs can happen when some sort of bacteria (usually bacteria from the butt area) enters into the urethra. To help avoid this, ensure all of your lower body is squeaky clean before putting on a diaper – and take a shower after exploring your diaper wearing fetish.
While these things aren’t safety issues related to learning and exploring “what is a diaper lover”, they are things you should think about before you explore a diaper wearing fetish:
- Where Will You Dispose of the Diapers? Used diapers (whether with water or biological waste) can get heavy! All of that absorption makes them heavy – some high-capacity adult diapers can top over 10 pounds a piece! Not only that, but used diapers, left out, can start to develop a smell, so you’ll want to take them out to the garbage as soon as possible. This means considering how you’ll dispose of your used diapers – especially if you live with others. When used and folded up, they end up being about the size of a video game console – so they aren’t the tiniest objects out there. Have a plan in mind whether you’re using reusable diapers (how to wash them) or disposable diapers (how to toss them).
- Are You Concerned about Scent? For the most part, used (for biological waste) diapers don’t have to have a scent – especially if it’s liquid-only, you’re hydrated, and you change when its needed. However, if you’re exploring your diaper wearing fetish with high-capacity diapers, you might find that the build-up of wetness can start to lead to a bit of a scent. You may (or may not!) mind it if you’re by yourself, but it can lead to feeling self-conscious if you’re around others. If you want to reduce the scent, wear lower capacity diapers, change more often, and consider wearing a onesie which can keep the diaper pressed close against the body to reduce scents escaping.
Wait. Diaper Fetish Parties? I Wanna Hear More About That!
I figured you might latch on that one. It is pretty cool.
Turns out, especially for those who wear diapers as a fetish – and not for ageplay “costume” purposes, the appeal really is all in wearing the diaper. This means that diaper wearing fetish parties are a not-common, but occasional, occurrence. Especially since alcohol makes people pee, parties plus adult diapers go surprisingly well together.
The exact type of party will really vary depending on the person hosting and the people attending.
Your standard diaper fetish party might look like any other house party you’ve been to. People will be drinking tons of alcohol, there will be loud music, and there’s probably a bunch of people playing a group video game in the corner. Tons of talking. The only difference: really fluffy, bulky bottoms. Some people probably won’t be wearing pants while others might be wearing jeans that look a bit too thick in the bottom.
If the host hadn’t talked about the “changing area” and how to dispose of dirty diapers, you may have never known you were at a diaper fetish party!
Other parties can be a bit more kink and play friendly. You might see bondage high chairs sitting out – or someone might be wearing bondage gear alongside their diapers. You might see a couple in the corner making out while rubbing their diapers together, or you might see someone whispering teasing words to someone while they rub the front of another person’s thick diaper. It still isn’t orgy-level sex, but there’s a definite undercurrent of sexual energy at some of these. Depending on house rules, you might see people getting changed out in public instead of the private design of the other diaper party.
The ageplay variety also pop up as well. Expect a lot of babytalk – and people wearing onesies and pacifiers. Pastel colors are the name of the game. The floor probably has those squishy, puzzle-piece floor tiles, and there will be so much coloring that your hand might fall off. Expect crawling, watching of cartoons, tons of juice boxes and snack crackers, and a calm, quiet atmosphere that feels like it’s almost directly out of a self-care workshop – aside from the fact that everyone crinkles when they walk.
It’s just all about what appeals to the group of people, what the host can manage, and what activities work within everyone’s comfort level.
Keep in mind: almost all of these parties are invite-only. Especially as most people want to “let go” and stop worrying about feeling like a weirdo for their diaper wearing fetish, these parties tend to be limited to people who can be trusted not to take photos or out people. This means, if you want an invite, you’ll need to get involved with your local community – or meet other diaper kinksters. Some people will travel hundreds of miles just to attend their closest option.