Has your partner confessed an interest in being feminized – or maybe you’re just looking for a bit of inspiration on how to force feminize for some feminization fantasies you’ve always had? Either way, you’ve probably come across an overwhelming amount of gross-feeling memes, porn, and caption pictures that make you feel uncomfortable with forced feminization – especially when, you, yourself, as a femdom, wear these clothes everyday.
Panties don’t instantly turn someone into a cock-sucking whore, like these porn pics imply. Lipstick doesn’t mean “all you’re good for is sucking”. I’ve been around these types of porn pictures for years now, and some of them still get my blood boiling.
Luckily, you don’t have to dig deeper into these misogynistic tropes to learn how to force feminize. There’s a whole world of force feminization out there that stays far, far away from some of those misogynistic tropes. It’s possible to turn this femdom kink into a shared, intimate activity that the two of you are taking on together – instead of feminine clothes that instantly “transform” your partner into a cock-sucking whore because they’re wearing red lipstick.
And if you want to include humiliation? You can do that too! It’s simple to do it through the choice of clothing and accessories. It doesn’t need to go anywhere near the “feminine items = humiliating” tropes.
So, let’s get started with some beginner ways to try forced feminization:
(Note: All of these ways assume a femdom top and a submissive who lives their life presenting as a male. Mostly, this is because this is the experience I have in my personal life, but also because using these particular pronouns helps keep the writing simpler and easier to understand, too. Regardless, all of these tips can be used regardless of gender identity, and you can make them work for you both!)
Ways to Try Forced Feminization for Humiliation
For a lot of people, learning how to force feminize has some basis in humiliation. For others, it doesn’t (see below). However, if you’re learning how to force feminize for embarrassment and humiliation purposes, I have some great ideas for you:
- Make him wear heels that are well-beyond his comfort level. This will make him wobble all over while trying to walk – and can make for easy humiliation fodder.
- Pick out a ridiculous wig that just looks embarrassing even on the box. Make him wear it. Do a photoshoot while he’s wearing it and tease him about how silly it looks on him. If it works for your dynamic, even threaten to post them to social media (obviously, don’t actually do it unless that’s something that works within your dynamic.)
- Give him a set of make-up that’s mismatched and wrong for his complexion – and tell him to do his make-up to the best of his abilities.
- Pick out clothing that’s too small for him to wear. (Trigger Warning: If your submissive has any body image or weight issues, this may very well be an unintentional emotional trigger. Tread carefully here! If in doubt, go for something neutral like heels that are too small.)
- Let him “choose his own outfit” from a selection of mismatched clothing that has no business being put together in an outfit. Think Steampunk mixed with Pastel Fairy mixed with Metalhead. Either be surprised when he puts something good together, or you have your humiliation fodder handed to you on a silver platter.
- Use objects and items that are beyond the everyday woman’s experience. We’re talking frou-frou skirts that offer 40 pleats and look gigantically ridiculous. We’re talking “maid outfits” that look like a caricature of anything homekeeping would require.
- Experiment with breast plates that are much too small – or much too large – for their frame. Since almost all breast plates offer these extremely pronounced nipples 24/7, that also makes for some good humiliation fodder if you’d like.
- Make your sub wear a pair of your panties. If your sub is larger than you are, wear the larger panties – but use clothespins or clips to fold-over and clip the waist to get them to fit onto a smaller body. I (honestly) haven’t figured out a way to make this one work if your sub is smaller in body size than you are (which is where I’m at). I’ll keep thinking!
- Up the ante by making your sub wear a pair of any panties – and head out in public. Surprise! Those panties are filled with itching powder. Chastise and scold them each time they attempt to adjust themselves in any unladylike way.
- Make them wear a menstruation pad – and fill it with some nice, warmed-up chocolate pudding. The consistency isn’t quite right, but the feeling of damp discomfort and their clear dislike makes it feel a bit like revenge.
- Paint their fingernails some obnoxious colors – then go out in it. Lime green mixed with bright yellow? Better yet, if you’re good at nail art, you can make some stupid-looking nail art designs to go on the fingernails. Make sure to require him to do most of the interactions with other people while you’re out and enjoy the double-takes you get.
- Anything feminine that you’re doing with them: go overboard. Putting on make-up? Put on way too much. Making them wear heels? Welp, 9″ platforms for a beginner we go. Wearing a skirt? Make it a giant mumu skirt – or so short that it just qualifies as a belt.
(Note: As always, make sure you and your partner have a good chat about femdom humiliation limits and interests. If your partner is starting to experiment with their gender identity while you learn how to force feminize – and you’re insulting their ability to look halfway decent, it can do some unintended damage. Make sure you both know what you want – and don’t want – out of feminization humiliation before doing it. Check in often because exploring gender norms can open doors that either of you may not have intended to open.)
Ways to Try Forced Feminization for Intimacy and Ownership
There’s absolutely nothing about forced feminization that says it has to be humiliating. For a lot of subs, the idea of forced feminization can be humiliating (which is why I started with it on this article), but for a lot of others, it might just be a way to express their inner identity.
As a femdom, you may better identify with forced feminization for intimacy and ownership as well. In porn spheres, it can be hard to avoid some of the misogynistic tropes, and staying away from anything resembling those tropes can feel like a much-more-comfortable space to explore how to force feminize. Don’t be surprised, though, if you end up wanting to explore more aspects of forced feminization as you get more comfortable with it all; it really is a huge kink with a lot of different options to play with!
So, here is how to force feminize for intimacy and ownership:
- Pick days where your submissive is “required” to wear panties. I personally prefer women’s lingerie made to fit a penis and testicles (see How to Find Men’s Lingerie), but you can pick whatever works for you.
- To get more in-depth, pick out the exact pair of panties your submissive is going to wear on those days.
- Add in a panty-wearing ritual if you’d like. This can be as quick or drawn-out as you’d like. You can write on his body as you give him the panties, require him to recite an affirmation or ritualistic praise to you, or force him to send pictures as he puts it on. It’s entirely up to you.
- If it’s appealing, you can also lock away all of his non-panty underwear and have him exclusively wearing panties.
- Purchase a bralette or sports bra for him to wear under his clothing. Heavier shirts or sweatshirts will help hide this in general public. For even more stealth, make it a plain white sports bra that can be written off as a tank top if it peeks out from under a t-shirt. Make sure it’s unpadded unless you’re trying to add breast-like bumps under their shirt.
- Following these instructions from brassiered, purchase a cheap bralette to experiment on and add a lock into his bra. (I’ve done this myself, and while it takes a bit, even my first attempt was totally workable!) Then lock the bra onto him and wear the key like a trophy.
- Better yet, start adding on other locking clothing items. Anytime you can lock a piece of clothing onto him, consider doing so. The world makes locking corsets and heels (made for feminine frames, so watch the sizing when purchasing). You can DIY your own locking pants belt or experiment with locks on other clothes on the body to see where you can get.
- Pregnancy fetish? Take some inspiration from pregnant cams, and find some maternity clothing/lingerie to go alongside a pregnancy belly. This can be an intimate experience where he gets to experience some of the growing pains of pregnancy – especially if this is a kink or fetish or either of you. (“Mpreg” is a huge fanfiction segment for a reason!)
- Start high heel training. Make a regimented plan to slowly acclimate your partner to heels. This can include purchasing multiple sets of heels (“training heels” all the way to “seriously tall stripper heels”) that you can lay out each training session for a visual aid, or it can simply include one pair of heels. I recommend heels that fasten onto the foot/ankle to start (pumps are hard!) as well as practicing on hard floors (no carpet) with easy access to a wall or stable surface (countertops) to catch themselves if they trip or twist an ankle.
- At random intervals, command him to wear heels. Doesn’t matter if he’s dressed en-femme or not. The idea is that you own their body, and they’ll wear heels when you want. (Honestly, I highly recommend skyhigh heels and a nicely fitting suit. They go surprisingly well together, and I absolutely love the visual!)
- Select his undergarments when he’s going to specific events. You might consider a specific set of panties for wearing at work – or he might be forced to wear a non-padded sports bra underneath his sweatshirt when hanging out with friends. This can be a fun way to exert your power.
- Agree with it or not, a lot of society believes “feminine = hair free”. You can use this to your advantage and require hair removal on any area that you prefer. Legs, face, chest, armpits, arms, shoulders, back – anywhere. You can determine how often they need to be hair free and what method they use.
- If you decide you particularly enjoy an area being hair-free for longer periods of time, you both can look into “forced” waxing or laser hair removal. My sub is mostly hair-free at this point because of laser hair removal, but it all started when I “forced” him to start getting waxed.
- It seems like a small thing, but you can also force a skincare routine. A lot of raised-as-male people have never had to deal with or think about multi-step skincare routines. Requiring specific lotions, cleansers, and exfoliators on a daily basis seems small, but it can have a big mental impact.
- Do his make-up – or go get your make-up done together at an LGBTQA+-friendly salon. Definitely call-ahead to ensure that they have make-up artists experienced with male-presenting bodies – and keep the fetishism to a minimum – but this can be a really fun and exciting way for those with a forced feminization kink to get to experience being “en femme” in public. I highly recommend an informal photoshoot when you get back home. This can be a fun and pampering way to enjoy learning how to force feminize as you both get used to this all.
- Get your nails done together. You can make this as odd or as bonding as you’d like. When I’ve done it, I usually select the color – and tell the nail technician what “he’ll be getting”. Most salons don’t ask, but you can always say it was a dare. My sub usually goes with some form of “I just do what she says” which usually leads to hoots and hollars from all of the older women in the room.
