What BDSM Training is, What it is Not
When you first think of BDSM, what comes to mind for you? If you were to ask ten people that question, chances are pretty good that you’d get ten different answers. And it’s no wonder with all of the BDSM themed sites and blogs that are available these days. But what is the truth about BDSM and what is just fantasy? Let’s find out.
There are a number of ways that people define BDSM – bondage, domination, submission/sadism, and masochism. For many, the term brings to mind the idea of whipping someone or heavy bondage – and you’d be correct in both cases. But what you might also want to keep in mind is that there are many different things that can encompass BDSM:
- Verbal dominance
- Master – slave relationship
This list could be much longer, but it’s a good sampling of what most people include when they talk about BDSM.
You can look at BDSM in two main ways. One, it’s when you have a relationship or an agreement between people in which one person submits to the desires of the other, causing the relationship to have one person dominating the other in some way. And /Or two, it can also be a relationship that involves one person giving and one person receiving pain or intense sensations.
While most people would consider BDSM to be a purely sexual relationship in nature, this is not necessarily the case. Many BDSM players and groups focus only on the idea of control over another, and not just in the sexual sense. Many couples or partners like to have a bondage or SM relationship that involves intense sensations for their sadistic or masochistic tendencies, but sex is never involved. This allows people to explore their limitations in terms of pain as well as the control of one person over another.
That’s all well and good, but there are many misconceptions about BDSM that are causing it to be ‘blasphemized’ and thought of as evil or dangerous.Just as with any different lifestyle you encounter, there are probably a lot of things that you have heard about BDSM – things that aren’t necessarily true.
What BDSM is NOT
Myth #1 – You can lock a person in a basement and torment them and call it BDSM.
The truth is that if a submissive has not willfully consented to this sort of interaction, it’s still against the law to hold someone against their will.
Myth #2 – You can beat someone senselessly and call it BDSM
Again, unless the submissive asked for such a severe beating (and few people would), this too is against many laws and is not a recommended way to ‘play’ in a BDSM setting.
While it’s true that BDSM can be dangerous, almost every relationship can be dangerous in some way – so let’s talk about the myths that many people have about BDSM to help you understand what is causing the misunderstanding.
The point is that BDSM and Dominant/submissive relationships are all based on a consensual relationship in which boundaries are discussed beforehand. Only when the both of you have understood and agreed upon those limitations, can the scene take place.
It also must be understood, that the submissive can end any scene at any time. This is the point of a consensual Dominant and submissive relationship. While BDSM may be many things, but above all else it should always be Safe, Sane, and Consensual
This means that you should never get involved in any activity that you do not feel comfortable with, is not safe or does not utilize safety measures.
- Never play with someone you don’t know and/or trust
- Always practice protected safe sex
- Never use someone else’s toys
- Never let anyone push you into doing something you are not comfortable with.
- Never consume drugs or alcohol before or while you are playing
- Never play when you are angry
Always keep your BDSM sessions at a point where you feel comfortable and safe both mentally and emotionally.
Also make sure that your partner understands your limits and respects them. You do not want to put yourself into something that could cause you or your partner permanent harm. This goes for both Dominants and submissives – Nothing in BDSM is meant to inflict permanent damage to a person
BDSM is simply another way to bring excitement into a relationship – both sexual and non-sexual. The turning over of one’s ‘power’ to another allows you to experience all the sensations that you want, while being given the power to guide someone on a journey to exceed their expectations of themselves is also gratifying. All of it must be done in a safe and controlled manner.
What are you waiting for?